#c: eloise b.

[strxngertogether]

@storyofwhoiam || Continued from here

Violet gave a bittersweet smile, hating to see her child in such pain, no matter the cause, but also knowing she had felt that more than enough times in her life. Sometimes, emotions needed to be felt and shown, even when you did not want them to. Even now, she struggled with fully expressing all of her emotions. Perhaps it was her fault that so many of her children seemed to want to hide their emotions, despite how much she tried to affirm in them otherwise growing up. Children took after their parents, did they not?

She took Eloise's face in her hand, wiping away the tears on that side of her face. "I know it is not... always something we are want to do, but I am here for you when you do need them to be expressed. If you wish me to be. I will always be here for you, you must know that." She knew how rocky their relationship had been in the past, most parent-child relationships were at one point or another, and she had every desire to fix that and needed to make it known that Eloise could come to her whenever she needed.

"Now, whatever is the matter?" She gently pushed, not wanting to scare Eloise away but wanting her to know that she would not walk away, if that was not what she wished.

[thearcheologistswife]

@storyofwhoiam

The TARDIS sobbed with her whole body, the feeling perplexing and painful but she couldn't stop it. Her emotions were always big but never like this. She had never once had a body, but she hadn't cried in it and it hadn't hurt like this body. Her old machine had been... hurt? But not like this. This pain was new and strange. The tube at the bottom of her head burned and the middle of her body ached. She wanted to rip the panels and coverings off, free herself from the fleshy prison.

"I am screaming! I'm warning them! Why aren't they listening?" She knew the tenses were wrong. She was constantly told that and she was aware of it herself, but it was hard to keep it all straight in this new head of hers. She'd never had to keep it straight. She was always where she needed to be, reaching out when her thief and their pets, her children, needed her. Why hadn't they done the same? Had she not done enough for them? Did she not make it clear enough that she was trying to save them? How could she have been more clear?

"I did my best! Why nothing in return?" Her thief hadn't even acknowledged how hard she had tried to keep them safe. She remembered when the Doctor had been so kind to her. They'd had their rows like any kissing couple, but the one with the outfits seemed so... she didn't think she mattered to him.

The TARDIS suddenly stopped, hands pulled into her chest, mouth set into a line, and eyes wide as she seemingly stared through the gaps of time.

"All... all thanks, all sorries, all 'are you feeling well?'" What had she done wrong for her thief to ignore her so completely? And that was ignoring the most recent happening. She was still processing that one. It wasn't important yet. It was going to be. It had been. Not in this moment, not now.

Her entire body then stuttered as she considered what she'd said. What did she mean? She was sure all was wrong in this instance. "No. No, I mean no."

The floods of liquid welled up again. "My thief... I think my thief is lost." Or maybe she was the one who had strayed. But how could she get back?

[strxngertogether]

...Right now? She wasn't leaving right now? She didn't listen to the rest of what Eloise said. She had simply heard that Eloise was leaving and it was all her fault. She whined heavily, sobs growing quieter but with more force. She couldn't breathe. She wanted everything to be okay again. She didn't want to be a bad sister. She didn't want to be alone. She didn't want her family dead and gone.

"I'm sorry," she mumbled, struggling to speak as she couldn't get a full breath. "I'm... a bad... sister."

Eloise wrapped her sister in a tight embrace. Holding her close, she stroked Alice's hair gently. "Hey, I'm not going anywhere right now, alright?" She tried to inject a lightness into her voice, "Besides, I don't think Mr Becke would appreciate a visit in the middle of the night. He probably wouldn't be at his best without a good night's sleep, and then I'm sure I'd only upset him."

Her fingers continued to stroke Alice's hair. "We'll figure it all out. In the morning." She hoped her words were enough to reassure her sister, even though she still had so many doubts and fears of her own. "I'll speak with Mr Becke in the morning."

[dollypopup]

Give it up for the 4 out of 8 Bridgerton siblings who are gay as fuck

[aduck8myshoes]

I know the writers won't give us an endgame wlw sibling, but think about the bridgerton family comedy they could milk out of that! Imagine:

In either a cold open cut-off or a cliffhanger, Cressida impulsively kisses Eloise and runs away, leaving Eloise completely blue screened. Eloise has no idea that lesbibabs exist, bc regency, and she is having lots of feelings she doesn't understand. She needs knowledge which to her means books, but where would one even find such a publication?

Cue Eloise trying to casually ask her two most worldly brothers where to find books about girl kissing. B and C spend a good 20 seconds looking back and forth from her to each other and going on just incredible face journeys. She's like, I just overheard some stuff and was curious this is not about me at all ahahaha, and they all suddenly have very important things to attend to that are not this conversation.

(Read more because this got long lol)

Colin has seen women have sex with each other in brothels, but he is an oblivious mfer that just discovered complex emotions last season, and probably had no idea there could be romantic feelings involved. So of course he goes to his wife about it.

Penelope is like, wtf, where is this coming from?, and Colin manages to not blurt out that it's about Eloise for a whole 10 seconds. Pen, who actually has a modicum of emotional intelligence, has heard her recently reconciled best friend complain for years that she doesn't understand why women want husbands, and is like, oh, some things suddenly make sense. She tells Colin to not worry about it and go to sleep.

Bi-nedict, who does know what a lesbian is, has heard his darling sister complain for years that she doesn't understand why women want husbands, and is like, oh, some things suddenly make sense.

Being the selfless brother he is, he heads over to the nearest artist orgy and asks around for some literature. They're like, oh yeah for sure, we have a zine club! (And then gets dicked down/pegged like he deserves.)

A few days later he gets a discreet delivery of underground pamphlets with names like "A Treatise on Human Sexuality" and "Like Yearns for Like: Observations on Attraction" as well as some he will NOT be giving to Eloise. (Zine club is very educational)

The less salacious pamphlets get awkwardly passed off to Eloise before bed and she spends all night in a montage of reading, recalling memories of Cressida (or possibly just women in general) being attractive, and working her way though her mini identity crisis.

At breakfast Violet sees her be like "Thank you for your... help. It was very... helpful" while not making eye contact with B, and mentally steels herself for whatever nonsense her kids are up to now.

For the next several episodes we watch them stumble upon Eloise as she attempts to get Cressida alone to talk (and then "talk") and have to try to keep anyone from finding out about the gal pals.

(Benedict going to duck around a corner only to see his sister sucking face and ducking right back out: Hey Colin and Penelope why don't we spend this entire ball standing right here blocking the entrance to this side hallway for no reason.

Penelope, who hasn't seen E in like an hour, putting 2 and 2 together: Ah yes, what an excellent idea brother-in-law! The view of everything in the opposite direction of that hallway is most splendid from this exact spot.

Colin, looking around, probably still oblivious: did Eloise go home?)

Anthony and Kate could be dragged into the effort as well at some point when they see something they shouldn't while looking for their own make-out spot.

And then when the drama hits and the relationship is revealed, they all put on their best shocked Pikachu faces while Colin finally gets it and is like, "oh wait is that why she was asking about-" before Pen stomps on his foot.

Violet lets herself give up for a full minute and just bang her head on a table.

[corneliastreetapartment]

Bridgerton incorrect qoutes

eloise: Time for plan G. anthony: Don’t you mean plan B? eloise: No, we tried plan B a long time ago. I had to skip over plan C due to technical difficulties. francesca: What about plan D? eloise: Plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago. daphne: What about plan E? eloise: I’m hoping not to use it. colin dies in plan E. benedict: I like plan E.

[wdhf100083t]

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【中文-W】我想吃麦当劳

【中文-W】无影

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【中文-W】舞小喵

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[niharikaaa2]

The thing about this bridgerton season is that they

A) made lord debling too likeable/downright lovable

B) Made colin boring/downright insufferable throughout the show

C) Tried to make Penelope likeable but also made her do downright henious things in the previous seasons so I'm not that motivated to root for her

D) I will still say she's too good for COLIN BRIDGERTON

E) Girl you suck but you're literally self made, you can sustain yourself why do you like this boring ass guy

F) Colin objectively isn't that bad but he lacks all the charm of the previous leading mans acc to me

G) Eloise has every right not to speak to Pen ever again. Their moments are the ones I enjoyed the most this season but also I believe Eloise doesn't have to accept pen. I know she will but I wish that she wouldn't for at least a long time so there is atleast some lasting consequences for Penelopes actions

H) Some of the subplots are so pointless, like I do not care to see if bro will give up his dudebro club or not.

I) Benedict's storyline every season being just ........fucking I guess is getting real boring. Like they have one of the best characters on their hands and they don't utilise him nearly enough.

J) I am kind of invested in cressida and Eloise's friendship more than her and Pen's. Like yes she's a mean girl and I don't like her either but the dynamic is hell of a lot more interesting. Atleast cressida is self aware.

K) The fucking balloon cracked me up

L) I'm way more invested in Frans story like I love their dynamic and fran as a character is very relatable to me. I know where it goes and that is so sad but I wish we could focus on her more.

[strxngertogether]

@storyofwhoiam || Continued from here

Taylah squeezed Eloise's hands in hers, shaking her head adamantly. "I'm already dead, what more can they do to me?" It was almost a genuine question. Many had tried to kill her (was it killing if she was already dead?), but she was still here. Maybe Eloise didn't mean death, but she had a hard time viewing pain as actual hurt these days. If it healed, it didn't matter. Sometimes she wasn't sure if she should mourn being alive, but she didn't miss her life before. Especially not now that she had Eloise.

"I can help or... or just be there. I want to be there." Maybe for slightly selfish reasons. The Bridgertons were the only family she had and she wanted to keep the few left alive. And she could do that. She was more dangerous than she looked or even used to believe she even could be. And unlike humans, they didn't trigger her bloodlust.

[your3fundamentaltruths]

2 Years of turn around, bright eyes!

Thank you SO much to everyone who has read, commented on, and otherwise engaged with turn around, bright eyes! It has been quite the ride to plot out and write and I've loved hearing your thoughts and theories and been made to blush by your exceedingly kind words. Thank you for sticking with me!

Since I did not get a new chapter ready in time for the actual anniversary date on April 15th, I'm dropping a flashback from an upcoming chapter.

Without further ado . . .

He is eight when baby Colin’s arrival on a blustery January morning makes him an eldest – rather than merely elder – brother. 

The last night it would only be they two Bridgerton boys, Benedict sneaks into his room and stays through the night. They sleep top and tail, fitfully, until tiredness overtakes even their unease at hearing their mother’s cries of pain as she struggles to bring their new sibling into the world. 

Early the next morning, as the light of dawn begins to peek through his curtains, Anthony awakens to find their father hovering over his bed, a bundle of blankets in his arms that cannot be anything other than the new baby.

“Good morning, Anthony,” says Papa in a scratchy voice as Benedict slowly stirs to wakefulness. 

“Morning,” he mumbles. “May I see?”

“Once Benedict budges up, I’ll sit.”

He kicks his younger brother in the shin, which wakes him up properly. 

Benedict scowls at him, but he mirrors his stance, sitting up to make room for Papa and – 

“This is your brother,” Papa says softly once he’s settled down between them, the baby cradled gently in his arms. “Colin.”

Two children whose names start with A for the elder and B for the younger might be a coincidence; choosing a name beginning with C for the third officially makes it a pattern. Nose crinkling, he tilts his head in question. 

Papa grins. “Your mama insisted.”

“Mm,” he murmurs noncommittally. He would never dream of criticizing Mama, but it’s really rather silly. Oh well. He looks more closely at his new brother. 

He isn’t sure what he expected, precisely, but the baby looks . . . like a baby, with chubby pink cheeks and a little fuzz of indeterminate color on his head.

Papa laughs when he makes that observation aloud. “He’ll grow into himself eventually and we’ll get to know him and his personality properly. Give it some time.”

“His eyes are like mine,” Benedict says smugly when their new brother blinks open his eyes for a few moments. 

He frowns; Benedict isn’t quite right (the baby’s eyes are a much darker shade of blue) but they are blue, so he is – and it seems will continue to be – the odd one out with his dark, dark eyes. “No, they’re not –”

“Either way, they might well change,” Father interrupts, well-practiced at defusing their disputes. “Babies’ eyes often do.”

(Colin’s will not. They stay the same dark blue he entered the world with, the same dark blue with which Eloise, Francesca, and eventually Hyacinth will all be born – their mother’s dark blue. 

Only when Gregory comes along will one of his younger siblings finally share his eye color.)

Papa clears his throat. “You are both big brothers now. That is a very serious thing. You will need to teach him everything you know and guide him so that he grows to be a good, kind boy as I try to teach you to be.”

He and Benedict exchange solemn looks, their fingers ghosting over the edge of the blanket and not quite touching their baby brother’s tiny fingers; they can sense at least some of the import of Papa’s statement based on his tone, before turning to Papa and nodding seriously.

“We will,” he says fiercely – if quietly, so as not to startle baby Colin, who startles him by wrapping his little fist around his index finger.

And stealing his heart.

For as long as he can remember, Benedict has been his best friend and his partner in crime, but he knows in that moment that Colin will be something entirely different.

(He does not know then that it will be Colin with whom he makes nearly all his worst mistakes as a brother.)

[strxngertogether]

Violet sighs in relief as the door finally shuts, pressing her forehead against the wood. She turns around to shoot a look of disapproval at Kate, trying to keep quiet and keep up the serious look, but unable to stop the laugh that bubbles up. She's fairly sure this is going to be something that Eloise and Kate are never going to let her live down.

"You..." she reprimands quietly, wrapping her arms around Kate's neck and kissing her. She sighs, contemplating their options. John and Kate could hide in the closet, but she wouldn't put it past Eloise to go rifling through her things. There was a window, but they were on the second floor and she did not want either of them getting hurt. She also frankly does not want to hide this any longer, at least not from Eloise who seems so intent on unraveling her secrets.

"Put your clothes on, my loves. I think we are about to have a very long... very awkward conversation."

Eloise’s confusion deepened as she heard her mother’s desperate pleas and the firmness in her voice. The more Violet tried to keep her out, the more baffled Eloise became.

With a frustrated sigh, Eloise took a step back from the door, her mind racing. “Fine, Mama,” she said, her voice tinged with exasperation. “If you won’t let me in, then I’ll wait outside. But you must know, this secrecy only makes me more concerned.” She paced back and forth just outside the door. “I’ll stay here until you’re dressed, but know this,” she called through the door, her tone unwavering, “I’m coming in once you are.”

Eloise’s resolve was firm. She leaned against the wall, arms crossed, and stared at the door.

[super-oddity]

Bridgerton siblings’ ages when they get married (i think):

1813; Daphne (21) and Simon (29)

1814; Anthony (30) and Kate (21)

1817; Benedict (30) and Sophie (23)

1818; Francesca (21) and John (26)

1824; Colin (33) and Penelope (28)

1824; Eloise (28) and Phillip (30)

1824; Francesca (27) and Michael (33)

1825; Hyacinth (22) and Gareth (28)

1827; Gregory (26) and Lucy (20)

Bridgerton children’s birth years:

1814; D; Amelia Basset

1815; A; Edmund Bridgerton II

1815; D; Belinda Basset

1816; E; Oliver Crane

1816; E; Amanda Crane

1816; D; Caroline Basset

1817; D; David Basset

1817; A; Miles Bridgeton

1818; B; Charles Bridgerton

1820; B; Alexander Bridgerton

1822; A; Charlotte Bridgerton

1822; B; William Bridgerton

1824; B; Violet Bridgerton II

1825; C; Agatha Bridgerton

1825; E; Penelope Crane

1826; C; Thomas Bridgerton

1826; E; Georgiana Crane

1826; H; George St. Clair

1828; C; Jane Bridgerton

1828; H; Isabella St. Clair

1828; G; Katharine Bridgerton

1829; E; Frederick Crane

1829; F; John Stirling II

1829; G; Richard Bridgerton

1830; A; Mary Bridgerton

1830; F; Janet Stirling

1831; C; George Bridgerton

1831; G; Hermione Bridgerton

1832; G; Daphne Bridgerton II

1834; G; Anthony Bridgerton II

1834; D; Edward Basset

1836; G; Benedict Bridgerton II

1838; G; Colin Bridgerton II

1840; G; Eloise Bridgerton II

1840; G; Francesca Bridgerton II

Bridgerton children’s ages when they get married (bs’d):

1835; D; Amelia (21) and Robert (27)

1838; D; Belinda (23) and Kellan (30)

1837; D; Caroline (21) and Geoffrey (26)

18— ; E; Amanda and Charles Farraday

Bridgerton grandchildren’s birth years:

1836; 1; Charles Joliffe

1838; 1; Thomas Joliffe

1838; 3; Henry Findlay-Watt

1839; 2; May Butler

1839; 3; Victoria Findlay-Watt

Bridgerton Family Tree

[gleefullypolin]

Stacy's Tipsy Musing's – Penelope Bridgerton Hot Takes - Part 3

Ok boys and girls, we need to have a little chat about Penelope Bridgerton.

Part 2 has been out now for a couple of days and there have been a lot of hot takes to come out of the season. A LOT of hot takes. I’m going to break this down into 4 parts like I did for Colin ((Part 1, 2, 3, 4, Bonus). 4 questions that I'm seeing really bad hot takes about Penelope.

Not surprising I see lots of hot takes about Pen, because either A) people cannot handle a woman complex emotions and facets, B) hate on a woman who does not fit societal norms and standards or C) are stans who refuse to see that all characters have imperfections which make them even more delicious to watch.

Last time we talked about Colin’s entrapment statement to Pen and her reaction to it.  Question 1,   Question 2, now lets get to question 3:

Why didn’t Show!Pen give up Lady Whistledown like Book!Pen did?

Ok let’s talk Book vs Show. In the book she’s 28, but in the show, she’s just turned 20 and in the book she’s already been Whistledown for 12 years, much longer than the 3 in the show. So, she’s built an actual empire in the show and has been doing this for a very long time in her life. By the end of the book, she’s ready to give this up and move on to her novel.

In the show, this is still new hat to her. She has accomplished much, yes, but for her, its still something she’s trying to make her own. She still wants to see if this is her purpose. She knows she feels lost when she tries to give it up, that she feels that something in her is telling her that it’s not right to let it go. And I think she resents that Colin continually keeps asking her to do that.

I also think its very early in the series for her to give this up. I have high suspicions that Ben is next and even though I have not read his book, I know that LW plays a part in that story still since we skipped over him in the series, so I assume the writers want to keep LW as a part of it and make Pen the first Regency official journalist. So, Pen will use her sources, the butlers, maids, cooks, etc, where she gets her information. I have a feeling we will see her continue to determine if this is where she wants to continue with her writing and maybe that is part of Season 4 with her finding her purpose in her eventual novel.

But I really think they just felt it was still too new for Pen. As she stated to Eloise, Whistledown is power, and Pen was not ready to let all of that go. A woman in that era had no voice, no power, and with her quill she found that even as Penelope, she could be a force to be reckoned with. And just like her now published husband, her name is associated with her written word. That is powerful indeed.

In the show Portia tells her women give up their dreams for their husbands, I loved how when she did that, she burned her LW pamphlets at the same time as Colin finally got past his writers’ block and began soaring. And my heart pained. As a strong-willed woman, with daughters myself, I would never, could never imagine this for my girls. I would say we live in a different time, but I will also say for the sake of argument, with the way society has come for women and our rights in the past few years, this season hit different. Perhaps it’s why I appreciated the themes that much more.  Never give up your dream’s ladies, not for anything, especially men.

So, at the end of all of it, after she decided to give up her identify, after she decided that she could never give up herself, her writing, and with the Queen giving her the go ahead, and her husband standing by her side, Penelope has decided to continue finding herself through her writing. And maybe that will take her to her novel, “Wallflower” and maybe it doesn’t. Maybe she becomes Mayfair’s most famous journalist, but I can’t wait to find out either way.

Stick around for part 4....

Isn’t Pen ending up with a baby right away truly ending her career and freedom for her and colin and traveling?

[smallfrenchcar28]

OKAY BUT Y'ALL UNDERSTAND THAT THE POLIN SEASON IS GONNA BE

ANGSTY AS FUCK RIGHT

Bc a) Colin has to find out she's Lady W during this season bc otherwise it eats into the next couples' seasons or they have a terrible toxic relationship based on lies and just... no

So b) they're gonna at least kiss and realise *feelings* early on so then either Eloise tells Colin about Pen OR Pen tells him OR he finds out on his own and THEN finds out Eloise also knew but didn't tell him to provide

MAXIMUM ANGST

And c) where's the main drama come from otherwise let's be real the writers are too intelligent to make up some random new bullshit to include when all the Lady W stuff is

ALREADY RIGHT THERE

And it's so

HECKIN' JUICY

And I

CAN'T WAIT IT'S BEEN YEARS

LIFE IS GONNA HAVE TO WAIT

POLIN BE CALLIN

And also I just need Pen and El to be friends again bc they fell out a whole 5 minutes ago and it's not acceptable actually

So anyway I'm just excited about Bridgerton series 3 in a totally normal and calm and collected way obviously

[pigeonwhumps]

BBU masterlist

General contents: pet whump, dehumanisation, amnesia, PTSD

(I've also put disabled whumpee under some of the links – this is a disability that isn't PTSD or I'd have it for all of them!)

Series

Bug and Company

Bug's 18 when they're handed over to BetterPets by their foster parents, going through various owners and sets of training before being freed for good. This is their life, and that of those they've touched.

Contains: lady whump, multiple whumpees, disabled characters, recovery whump, caretaker new whumper, mutual caretaking

Finding Safety

After being kidnapped, dumped at WRU, and shipped to the USA, Cass isn't having a good time. And then Tyrone takes him to be his ring-fighting Guard Dog, alongside Aaliyah, a Romantic he already owns. Now he's definitely not having a good time, and nor is Aaliyah. After losing everything, they need to build their lives again, but with Aaliyah not remembering her past and Cass unable to reach his, it's a challenge, even with assistance.

Contains: lady whump, multiple whumpees, disabled characters, recovery whump, caretaker new whumper, different caretaker *actually* new whumper, mutual caretaking

Pets of the Silver Screen

In the silent film era and the early days of the WRU, young pet number 95, real name Eloise, is bought by film producer Hayes Fletcher to star in his productions. A few years later, he hires Agatha from Foster Montgomery to be her stunt double (read: to scar in scenes where it's necessary, because Eloise is too valuable), and the two young woman strike up a somewhat unwilling friendship.

Over a decade of working on- and off-screen later, it's the roaring twenties, pet liberation is starting to grow, and they're more than ready to leave. Enter Ira Waterhouse – a woman who's had just about enough of the pet industry and is willing to take in two runaways. But WRU is expanding, and running a newly-acquired safehouse in London's docklands isn't a piece of cake. Especially when the two former pets Ira's running it with are a) famous, b) wanted for burning down a film studio, and c) even more traumatised than she originally assumed...

Contains: lady whump, multiple whumpees, disabled character, historical whump, recovery whump, mutual caretaking

Sanctuary

Anita and her grandmother Indira are thrown into the world of pet ownership when Theo, a profoundly deaf unwanted box boy, is mistakenly delivered to the animal shelter Anita works at.

Meanwhile, 785, Theo's bonded, is now struggling to survive Eleanor alone.

As long as she's useful, anyway.

When 785 is refurbished and sold, meeting a defiant illegal pet named Cass along the way, she ends up living alongside a Pet who seems to know her far too well. Meanwhile, Theo discovers that the person he cares about most in the world barely remembers his existence, and Anita is in way over her head.

Contains: lady whump, multiple whumpees, disabled characters, recovery whump, caretaker new whumper, whumpee turned caretaker, mutual caretaking

One-shots

Outside

Ceci talks to Bless about going outside.

Contains: recovery whump, caretaker new whumper

Do you think Guard Dog designated pets should be legally required to wear an auditory identifier in public?

Opinion piece on a proposed law feat. Ade Olayinke vs David Cooper: "Guard Dog class pets will have to wear an auditory device such as a bell collar or proximity alarm at all times whilst in public spaces."

Cry for help

Melanie finds an abandoned pet on a street corner.

Contains: disabled characters, whumpee turned caretaker

Artwork and graphics

Pet Paper and Liberation magazine covers

WRU recruitment brochures

WRU pet wrapping service

Promotional cereal box

WRU x Happy Meal McDonald's advert

Bring Your Pets to Work Day

Petblr dashboard

Fanwork for @octopus-reactivated's Pet Paper – layout for @cowboy-anon's article 9 Essentials for a Hassle-Free Vacation with your Pet

Rent-A-Pet advert

Other

BBU Community Days 2023

BBU Community Days 2024

[myargalargan]

A Classical Polinalysis: Ep. 1

Alright, here's the first in the series of episode-by-episode analyses I mentioned when I shared the playlist I made of all the Classical pieces used in Bridgerton season 3!

The tracks on the playlist are all in order of when they appear in the show, and here are all the pieces that were used in episode 1:

Mozart’s Kleiner Trauermarsch ("Little Funeral March") in C minor, K. 453a

Beethoven’s String Quartet No. 1 in F Major, Op. 18, No. 1: IV. Allegro 

Haydn’s String Quartet No. 43 in G Major, Op. 54, "Tost", No. 1, Hob.III:58: III. Menuetto. Allegretto 

Scarlatti’s Sonata in G Major, K. 259, L. 103 

Mozart’s String Quartet No. 16 in E-Flat Major, Op. 10, “Haydn”, No. 3, K. 428/421b: IV. Allegro vivace 

Beethoven’s String Quartet No. 2 in G Major, Op. 18, No. 2: III. Scherzo. Allegro 

Haydn’s String Quartet No. 1 in B-Flat Major, Op. 1, No. 1, Hob. III.1, “La chasse”: I. Presto 

Haydn’s String Quartet No. 30 in E-Flat Major, Op. 33, No. 2, Hob. III:38, “The Joke”: IV. Presto

As I was looking into all of these, I started to see a bit of a theme emerge, and that theme is…

It started when I identified that the music playing in the background after Penelope flees Lady Danbury’s ball is a string quartet nicknamed “The Joke.” But then I started seeing how more and more pieces were falling into the pattern. The use of a scherzo (the Italian word for “joke”) from one of Beethoven’s quartets. Music reviewers describing the sense of humor in Haydn’s quartets. Even the funeral march Francesca plays at the start of the episode is kinda tongue-in-cheek! 

So what's so noteworthy (hah) about this theme…?

Well, let’s get into it… 😏

The first Classical piece we hear, Benedict very helpfully identifies for us: it’s Mozart’s “Funeral March,” which Francesca is playing just before her debut into society. And this of course is meant to be ironic, Francesca acting nonchalant about the whole event while drowning out the calls for her attention as she pounds out some intensely dour tunes—the musical version of the “this is fine” meme. But even taken by itself, without the context of this scene, the “Funeral March” is something of a joke. The full title is “Kleiner Trauermarsch” or “Little Funeral March”—a reference to the brevity of the piece but which also makes it sound diminutive and cutesy and sort of takes the edge off the severity. And then it has a silly little subtitle of “Marche funebre del Sigr Maestro Contrappunto” or “Funeral March for Mr. Master Counterpoint” (where “counterpoint” refers to a musical technique of having two or more distinct melodic lines playing simultaneously—the “Funeral March” doesn’t make use of this technique, but Mozart often did, so there’s a theory that Mr. Master Counterpoint is a joking reference to himself). All this to say, Mozart’s “Little Funeral March” has been said to be a bit of a satire on the overall funeral march genre, so despite what would seem to be a heavy and melancholic piece of music, we get our first “joke” establishing our episode 1 theme. 

Next, we have a few pieces playing in the background of the garden party: Beethoven’s String Quartet No. 1 in F Major, which is playing while Colin flirts with the first set of ladies and as the Featheringtons arrive (and Colin seems to search for Pen while Pen watches him from afar); and Haydn’s String Quartet No. 43 in G Major, which plays while Francesca describes her ideal match to the other debutantes, and the Ladies Bridgerton discuss her and Eloise. 

The Beethoven quartet isn't known for being humorous; however, like much of the music used in this episode, I find that it has a jaunty, lilting quality reminiscent of tittering laughter. At the start of the piece, you can almost imagine the ladies of the ton giggling behind their hands and then, when the deeper strings come in, the heartier laughter of the gentlemen. Which is fitting, since this piece is also playing as Cressida first appears on the scene, fully intending to make some cruel quip about Penelope's appearance.

On another level, I really like this piece in the background of Colin’s obnoxious flirting because it’s one of Beethoven’s earliest string quartets (his second ever, despite being numbered first in the opus), and at the time, the string quartet was a very well-established musical form with highly-regarded masters. So Beethoven, still early in his career, was just starting to break into an already mature musical tradition and trying to make his mark there. Which, to me, has similar vibes as Colin returning home after his travels and trying so hard to be the man society expects him to be. 

The Haydn quartet, on the other hand, definitely fits into our “joke” theme. Haydn was seen as something of a musical humorist and prankster, and the way that comes through in Quartet No. 43 is with the irregular phrasing used in the third movement (which is the movement used in the episode)—the phrases are an uneven five measures long, rather than the more typical and predictable four. This movement is a minuet, and the minuet is supposed to be a dance movement, but due to the asymmetrical phrases, one review I read (from Hyperion records) noted “dance this music at your peril.” Which, granted, is a little extreme, but! Nevertheless, the sentiment conveys the prankiness of this piece pretty well.

(As a bonus, the piece that plays in the background when Colin and Pen finally do talk is called “Elegant Country House” by film composers David Arnold and Paul Hart. If you’re interested, you can find it here: https://open.spotify.com/track/5W99XxuEvJMbWW1HrvTYK4?si=019fef5f8fda4d61 It’s classical in style but is a contemporary piece so I didn’t put it on my playlist and or in this analysis.)

The next batch of joke-themed music occurs at Lady Danbury’s ball, but real quick before we get there, I just wanted to note that the Italian sheet music Francesca receives from Colin is Domenico Scarlatti’s Piano Sonata in G Major. (And even this piece has some tinkling passages that might bring bell-like laughter to mind.)

Now, onto the ball! 

As the Bridgertons enter, we hear the fourth movement of Mozart’s String Quartet No. 16 in E-Flat Major. This is a piece that continuously throws the listener for a loop. The beginning has these broken two-note gestures that give a sort of start-stop-start-stop feeling to the intro. Then, just as it jumps into a fast passage with a bunch of runs, the whole thing gets interrupted by the start-stop gestures again. Later, those two-note gestures come back, but even that pattern gets interrupted. The whole thing feels twisty and turny in a way that recalls that prankiness of the earlier Haydn quartet. (And, actually, this piece is the third of a set of six quartets that Mozart dedicated to Haydn, so it seems likely he was doing a bit of an homage to his mentor’s reputation as a musical jokester.)

Then, while Penelope tries (and fails spectacularly) to flirt with that group of dubious gentlemen, and while Eloise talks embroidery with her fellow debs, we have the third movement of Beethoven’s String Quartet No. 2 in G Major in the background. This is the scherzo movement, literally the joke movement. Scherzos are so-named because they were typically short, light, playful pieces of music, injecting a bit of levity and danciness in between more complex, dramatic, or emotional movements of a larger work. Although scherzos were a very common musical form at the time, they do not appear frequently on the Bridgerton soundtrack. In fact, I didn't see a single other scherzo used in season 3 even among the many string quartets that appear on the song list. So it feels remarkable in this context. 

Following this, we have Haydn’s String Quartet No. 1 in the background while the dudebros are asking Francesca what makes her “tick.” The thing I find interesting about this piece during this particular scene is that the quartet is nicknamed “La Chasse” or “The Chase,” and the sort of braying quality of the strings is reminiscent of hunting bugles. A bit of a sardonic metaphor for the marriage mart, perhaps… (Predator? Or prey?)

Then finally we have Haydn’s String Quartet No. 30 in E-Flat Major, “The Joke.” The piece earned this nickname because the final movement, which is what's used in the show, has several fake-out endings, where a musical line will conclude, there's a pause long enough for the audience to think they should start to applaud, and then the music starts back up again. To the point that when the piece finally does end, the audience would hesitate to clap, assuming they're about to get punked again.

This piece plays very quietly in the background after Penelope flees the ball and Colin follows her outside. In fact, it starts playing right around the moment Pen calls herself a spinster, it’s playing in the background when she says, “I am the laughing stock of the ton even when I change my entire wardrobe,” and then it ends right after she accuses Colin of being cruel. And I feel like this is such a perfect use of this piece. 

First, because it fits so well with Pen feeling like a joke to all her peers. Her insecurity about this pervades the entire episode and is the catalyst for her transformation, and the music in the background throughout the episode tells this story, with the usage of satirical and humorous pieces finally culminating in a work that’s literally titled “The Joke” as the soundtrack behind Pen’s self-flagellation. 

But also, I love how quietly the music is playing in that moment. Of course it makes sense that it’s quiet, since we’re outside with Colin and Pen and the musicians are inside. But y’know what else is inside? Anybody who would laugh at Pen. Penelope is understandably upset with Colin for what he said the previous year, for doing the frat boy thing and jeering with his broskis about her courtability. But here, now? Whatever ridicule there is from the ton about Penelope is back inside that ball. Colin—outside, with her—is not laughing anymore. 

Speaking of Colin… Not only do I love the “joke” theme in the music as a representation of some of Penelope's inner conflict, I love it for Colin’s, as well. Because let's face it...he's a bit of a joke right now. His farce of a personality. The cringey flirting. He doesn't suffer in society the same way Penelope does, but Lady Whistledown certainly finds him worthy of ridicule.

Both Colin and Penelope are struggling to find their place in society and end up on the receiving end of jabs and teasing as a result. The "joke" theme is a really effective way to set up the narrative arc that each of them will go through to find confidence in themselves, ultimately shedding the superficial (sometimes laughable) image that society had of them both.

♥

Finally, credit where credit is due, here are some of the analyses and reviews I read to prepare for this post:

Beethoven's String Quartet No. 1: https://www.earsense.org/chamber-music/Ludwig-van-Beethoven-String-Quartet-No-1-in-F-major-Op-18-No-1/

Haydn's String Quartet No. 43: https://musicatmenlo.org/files/2018_CBII.pdf

Mozart's String Quartet No. 16: https://www.rolf-musicblog.net/mozart-string-quartet-kv-428/#move4

Beethoven's String Quartet No. 2: https://www.hyperion-records.co.uk/dw.asp?dc=W11615_66401

Haydn's String Quartet No. 1: https://www.gramophone.co.uk/review/haydn-string-quartets-op-1-nos-1-6